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Thursday, December 4, 2008

google google googly.

Jealousy typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened by a rival. Jealousy often contains a mixture of emotions such as anger, sadness, and disgust. While jealousy and envy are similar, they differ in that jealousy is about something one has and is afraid of losing, while envy is about something one does not have and either wants to acquire it or prevent another from getting it.

Don't Deny Jealousy, Deal with It
Okay, let's say you've found that you are jealous. It's not going to be easy, but what can you do to solve it?One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to try and hide it (in the long term, that doesn't mean you have to display it at the moment you feel it.) Jealousy is usually a signal of something needing fixing, and ignoring that usually only makes things worse.Instead, I would suggest asking yourself "What do I feel insecure about?" Do I feel unattractive or uninteresting myself? Do I doubt the other persons love for me? Their physical attraction? Do I doubt that I can have the type of relationship I want? Once you've figured out what the core discomfort is, then it's appropriate to ask yourself if your fears are well-founded. If it is, perhaps talking to your partner about what you are afraid of and why you believe your fears are well-founded makes sense. A different case is where you are pretty sure that your fears are unwarranted, but you just feel insecure (often about yourself more than the relationship) anyhow. That, in my experience, is a more difficult case, and it's hard to know precisely what to do about it, but I have been there, and part of what worked for me lies in the story behind the next item....


I'm bored, saja-saja search. Haha. Jealousy is a common problem for any relationship. =)

xoxo

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